Goodbye to 2011

I love a good list. I have lists coming out of my ears. I have about a 20 lists in the memo pad on my phone: what clothes I want to buy, what music I need to download, which films I want to rent, present ideas for people... And my job pretty much revolves around making lists too. So it’s good that I just ruddy love them!

New Years to me is just another excuse to make a list.

Beauty on a budget: Superdrug's MUA Professional range

In the last 6 weeks I have moved house and jobs AND country (it's only Wales mind you, but it's across water so it counts) so needless to say my beauty regime has taken a back seat. I know, not great for the Beauty Magpie to admit but I figured no one knows me here so no one can comment that I "look tired" if I go without eyeliner or fake tan). 

Beauty Icons and Girl Crushes of 2011

Every other day there seems to be a headline or article slating female celebrities for what they wear and what they weigh. And I'm sick of it! So unlike the Daily Mail or Dan Wootton or any other bitchy journalist out there, I do not intend to end 2011 on a negative note with a run down on who could have done or looked better. Instead I plan to support the sisterhood and celebrate my biggest beauty icons of this year. Because whether you're a big fan of them, or not at all, at least we can probably all agree that 2011 would have been a much uglier place without them.

The Essex Factor: "BIB"

I suffer from a pretty inconvenient illness. It isn't rare mind you, you've probably even encountered it yourself. You only have to turn on the television and see the girls from The Only Way is Essex and you know you're in the presence of this all-consuming problem. Because doctors have yet to recognise this really serious affliction (I mean, honestly) I've taken medical matters into my own hands and named it 'BIB' - BIGGER IS BETTER (no, not like that you naughty slags).

Festive nails

Don't tell anyone but...I prefer winter to summer.

I CAN'T HELP IT, OK? I'm pale as f**k so the sun doesn't agree with me and I prefer my body to be covered up by clothes rather than on display in a bikini (well...only until I can afford to get my boobs done anyway). But also because winter make up is just so much more fun.

More's Blog Boudoir

I'm not used to winning stuff. I'm definitely no Charlie Sheen. So forgive me whilst I totally big myself up for becoming one of the blogs chosen to be part of More's Blog Boudoir. Ohhh yeaaaah. *puts shirt over head and does victory lap around the living room* I'm very chuffed, especially since my blog is a mere infant next to some of the others chosen. But I'm particularly touched because Lydia from The Only Way Is Essex was on the judging panel - that's all the approval I need in life.
"So I'd like to thank my parents, my record company and God..."
If you've been directed here from More's website, welcome and thank you for checking out my rofltastic ramblings (I can be arrogant now because of this, soz). And for more frequent ramblings follow me on twitter: twitter.com/chrystiread.
In all seriousness, I am delighted. I'm probably more pleased about this than I was getting a journalism degree or when that guy from Hollyoaks came onto me. So I'm really really pleased.
Here are the other blogs chosen. As you can see, I'm in good company. Well done to all the other bloggers. xx

Babble Emporium....

Beauty & The Blog....

Beauty Magpie....

Because wearing black looks mysterious....

Oh Chlo!....

Girl lost in the city....

L'Espoir de ma vie....

Romeo and the lonely girl....

Thunder and threads....

Write like no one's watching

"Show me your dirty face, put away that butters one"

A sober Black Swan

Ahhh Sunday morning. The sun is streaming in through the window of my massive Hollywood mansion. I dreamily roll over and kiss my beautiful boyfriend Zac Efron good morning. Ever the charmer, Zac just so happened to remark on how gorgeous I look in the mornings... 

Lady and the tramp

In order to get away from the depressfest that is Reading (after 7 years at school there and returning there again after University last year, I've sampled all it has to offer. Which is not a whole lot), I've recently moved to Cardiff. I like daffodils, I like rugby and I especially like Welsh men so it seemed like a good fit. Unbeknownst to me though, Cardiff apparently has a little bit of a reputation. I was completely unaware of this until an old school friend who lives here told me that it can be a "bit rough" and contains a "whole lot of wasters." Well I never! This was futher backed up by images by Polish photographer Maciej Dakowicz's exhibition where he documented nights out in Cardiff over four years. Worryingly most of the photographs were of women. And it didn't exactly paint us in the best light.

Gentlemen: read this and get more sex.

A wise woman once said, "I don't wanna be a traitor to my generation and all but I don't get how guys dress today. It's like they just fell out of bed, put on some baggy pants, take their greasy hair and cover it with a backwards cap and we're expected to swoon? I don't think so!" This wise woman was Cher from the 90s film Clueless. Granted she ended up falling for a gay guy in the film but whatever, when it comes to grooming, girlfriend knew her stuff.

A couple of weeks ago I took no less than 2 and a half hours to get ready for a night out. This may seem rather excessive but I love it and my efforts were rewarded with a couple of compliments which made me feel pretty good. Anyway, on said night out I took a look around me and was rather disappointed to see that the majority of men in the club I was in had not made as much effort. Correction: any effort. Most of them looked like they hadn't even glanced in the mirror before they'd left the house. Now I'm not saying that a man should be spending hours on grooming prior to a night out but a little effort wouldn't go amiss fellas.

Pale but not interesting

I went to Ibiza a couple of weeks ago and whilst it was arguably the best week of my life, there were some beauty issues that I faced. And I came to a rather horrifying conclusion: IT'S BLOODY DIFFICULT TO LOOK GOOD ON HOLIDAY. Most people go on holiday, get a tan, their freckles pop out, their teeth look whiter, their hair gets that gorgeous beachy wave and if nothing else, everyone looks great because they're so bloody relaxed and happy.

No Poo: beauty's dirtiest little secret

My blonde hair lasted a whole 12 days. I momentarily cured my blondarexia and replaced it with an even more worrying disease - DYEAREXIA. (OK, that's not a real thing but it is now). I decided to go dark again but then went dye crazy, turning it a multitude of colours, including one that was, unfortunately, reminiscent of that horrendous hue Cheryl Cole sported last year (you remember the red, right? Bleurrgghh). In a frenzy I decided to strip it of all the dye again (a very long process) and before finally settling on a colour that is very close to my natural shade (I think. It's been a while since I've seen it).
So it's safe to say, my hair was in a total state.

Your rolled up sleeves and your skull t-shirt

Despite the insensitive rows that broke out over Twitter about Amy Winehouse's untimely demise and whether or not "she had it coming", she certainly made her mark on the world in her short life. Of course with her incredible singing voice and poignant lyrics but for me, she'll be remembered for her quirky individual style.

Lashtastic

The first time I wore false eyelashes was in 2006. It took me about an hour and a half to get them onto my eyes and even then they were half way up my eyes and kind of made me look like a droopy-eyed cartoon character. Nevertheless, I was hooked. As was the rest of the world it seemed. Thanks to Cheryl Cole's bambi eye's appearing on our TV screens every week on X Factor, everyone went nuts for falsies. Last month Debenhams said the sales of fake eyelashes soared by 1322% of fake eyelashes ahead of prom and festival season. Short, blonde normal eyelashes JUST WON'T DO ANYMORE!

Blondarexia: totally addicted to bleach

Blondarexia: Being so addicted to bleaching your hair that it's almost white, flat, monochromatic and burnt to a frazzle.

No Pizza before Beefa

In less than 6 weeks I am going to Ibiza!!!!! I am so beyond excited I can barely contain myself!!!! Hence everything being followed with so many EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!!!

However, my excitement was ever-so-slighty tainted by a wee bit of panic. I looked in the mirror and had that realisation that if I don't do anything quickly then I won't be looking like Megan Fox in a bikini when the end of August rolls round. (Or never will. BUT, HEY, I CAN DREAM).

"If you're going for classy, that ship sailed 3 tattoo's ago..."

Much to my Mother's disappointment, I love tattoo's. (She blames my rebellious side on my Dad). In November 2009, I tattooed a broken heart on the inside of my elbow. Although this was my 6th tattoo (there have been 2 more since), it was the first that wasn't hidden by clothing and was in a very visible place. And it was the first time I learnt that when they're on show, they invite a lot of questions and judgements - that tattoo has since become public property.

Recently, I found myself defending my body illustrations to a group of boys who stood around me and condescendingly asked, "What are you gonna do when you're an old lady?" "I'll be an old lady with tattoos. I'll be retired. I won't do anything." In the past, I have had strange men grab my forearm, twist it around and question why I've had this tattoo and what it means. "Why did you have a broken heart? Is it because your heart was broken?" Yes, obviously. But actually the tattoo is not an accurate depiction. The tattoo is in half, in reality my heart was in pieces. Even if I decided to have it removed, the ink may be gone but the memory would remain. My decision to commemorate a very difficult time of my life by injecting indelible ink into my arm (I quite literally wear my heart on my sleeve) is just that - mine. For me, it is a reminder that you can move on and recover. But for a lot of other people it is an excuse to be insensitive, condescending or judgmental.

The main difference between me and these men is that I love tattoos and they don't. I think David Beckham looks like a work of art, they think he looks like a thug. I love Megan Fox's gothic poems and they probably think they're self-indulgent. And I love mine. I love the arabic writing I have for my family (my family are arabic before you play the language card) and I love the little umbrella that my best friend also has tattooed on her. And if I were to ever get married, I'd probably tattoo the guys name on me as well. (When people say that's a risky idea, I think that sounds like signing a prenup for your skin.) Tattoo's are entirely subjective. What I find beautiful, you may not and vice versa. And that's fine.

I don't regret a single one of them and I highly doubt I will. What I do regret is having to answer rude, judgemental questions just because people can see them. In the same way, I don't walk up to certain gentlemen with insane hairdo's (that my brother-in-law once accurately described as "exciting") and say,"You're going to regret wearing your hair in that inexplicable fashion in the future", you shouldn't say the same to me about my tattoos.

Or maybe next time, I'll just wear a jacket.

Fashion heaven

Elie Saab presented the most breathtaking collection of gowns I have ever seen at Paris Couture Week.

There are literally no words, it's just so perfect.

Hair today, icon tomorrow

Hey, remember when Danni Minogue cut her hair and everyone suddenly started liking her? She got a new bob, stopped being a Cheryl wannabe, pulled the botox injections out of her face and suddenly became more human. It's incredible how important a pair of scissors can be.

Similarly in Emma Watson's case, her razor sharp crop took her from geek to chic; from school girl to fashion icon. Now I'll admit that when she won the Fashion Icon award at the Elle Style Awards earlier this year, it seemed to me as though they had simply rewarded Emma for wearing a lusted-over studded Burberry trench and for slicing her locks off - "THAT DOES NOT AN ICON MAKE" I bellowed!

 

But ever since she won the girl has truly lived up to her new title and I've been proved wrong. Opting for mini's mostly, she's been sporting some of the hottest designers around - Hakaan, Marchesa and of course, Burberry. And, pictured below at the photocall for the new Harry Potter movie, Emma hit another fashion home run all the while proving that you can grow out an elfin cut stylishly (having done it myself, it's not easy).

Still, cutting ones hair isn't always a great idea. Remember these?

How to go blonde by Katy Perry

MY GOD, I LOVE A MAKEOVER!

When Katy Perry debuted a new "accidental" ginger hue last week at her perfume launch in Toronto I squealed in delight. I LOVE IT! Unfortunately though, she's not keeping it.

Mrs Russel Brand tweeted about her new look: "2get to goal I have 2b ginger for 3WKS. If I don't wait 3WKS, I'll end up w/no hair or a #pixiecutw/abaretteinthefront. It's okay, I'll get to my secret colour soon! #patience".

Text talk translation: to go from having dark hair to blonde, she has had to stop half way at ginger and let her hair recover from the bleach for a few weeks. But to me, this accidental hair colour is something she needs to keep! I LOVE the ginger on her - it goes so well with her kitsch 50s siren look she sports (and generally I'm not keen on dyed black hair on pale skins, it's too severe). Katy is naturally blonde though (hard to believe I know) so I'm sure she look like a total bombshell when she achieves her final look.

I did a similar thing last year. Though not quite as extreme as Katy's, I went from brown to blonde (with an unwelcome stop at ginger blonde on the way). Because I waited a couple of months and I still had hair left at the end.

So let this be a lesson to all those wanting to change there hair from dark to light. If you don't do it slowly, you will end up looking like this:

Katie Price spent an amazing 17 hours in the hairdressers going from black to bright blonde and lost half her real hair in the process (in photographs you can see that her hair above her extensions is no longer than 3 inches now). She then decided to sue the hairdressers. Riiiiight.

Nail Art

Whilst I was at House of Holland, Henry was creating his A/W'10 collection which was pretty ghetto fabulous - it was all high ponytails and bandana's. And the models wore some rather offensively long acrylic white nail extensions with letters printed on them (NALGO was spread over each finger, meaning "Not a lot going on"). Henry and his nail artist Sophy Robson were some of the first to champion nail art. When it first became fashionable again, I shuddered. Anyone else remember nail piercings and diamante stick on's from the 90s? (Even Victoria Beckham was a fan!)

But my mind has been changed. Since Katy Perry is a massive fan (even going as far to print pictures of her husband on her nails) and Alexa Chung has been seen with palm tree motifs on the front row, I can no longer deny it. Nail art is here to stay. After being inspired by the intricate, original designs at WAH Nails I decided to give it a go myself (with a little help from my sister).

This was the result:

Not bad ay? It was time-consuming but I smile every time I look at my nails now, so here's how to give it a go yourself!

1) Rub your fingernails with nail varnish remover, even if they're already polish free. It removes the natural oils on your nails and allows polish to be applied smoothly.
2) Choose a base colour (here I used Rimmel's Lycra Pro Nail Polish in a rosey pink, which I love because it dries quickly) and paint a very thin layer on all your nails. Allow it to dry before painting a second layer.
3) Use the non-pointed end of a toothpick, dip it into a white nail polish (you can find these in french manicure sets, Sally Hansen do a fab one) and start dotting your nails with white polka dots, as big or small as you want! Don't use too much white polish though or else the dots will be too thick and will take forever to dry.
4) The best advice I was given at make-up college was whenever you're doing something fiddly, do it with conviction. So don't hold back, dot your nails quickly and smoothly. I find if you are too hesitant then your hands will start shaking and you'll be far more likely to smudge or ruin them!
5) Allow them to dry completely. This will take a couple of hours usually but I sped mine along by using Avon's Nail Expert Liquid Freeze Quick Dry Spray.
6) Leave them alone to set properly and then follow with a top coat. I used 17's Double Gloss Top Coat to make them uber shiny.

The now infamous leopard print metallic manicure on Katy Perry

Canary yellow and nail art: Rihanna nails two trends

Katy Perry (again) with candy sprinkle nails